Making Noise, Being Heard

I bought Merv tickets for the matinee session of the Jersey Boys at our local Performing Arts Centre. I had bought them months ago to ensure we had the best seats.  Wheelchair access that is!  I logged into my brain and repeated the date, I clipped the envelope containing the treasured tickets to my dressing table mirror.  I dare not forget and I didn't.
With Merv in permanent care I arrived on the day to find him in his pyjama top!  I laughed with the day staff (muttering under my breath they couldn't tell he was wearing his pyjama top) while I redressed him in an appropriate dark green polo shirt.  So much better.
We headed for the cafe on the foreshore and ordered a big bowl of hot chips for him.  Mel and I shared a basket of pulled pork sliders.  Oh so yummy!  As I paid the bill in cash I noted I received $10 less than what I should.  The staff member printed out the receipt (muttering under her breath I was taking up her time).  She pointed to the total which was $10 more than I ordered than she looked at the items listed, snatched the $10 out of my hand and replaced it with a $20 note.  No explanation provided.  I know that's happened before.  The error being my order was added to the previous order. Thankfully I was checking my change and not paying by card.
We enjoyed our lunch on the boardwalk enjoying the slight cool breeze and watching the pelicans drift past.
Mel went home and I pushed Merv in his chair to the Performing Arts Centre.  It was packed mostly with grey haired seniors.  There were lots of wheelchairs and as the line to enter the auditorium grew we were asked to stand aside.  I understood they needed to get people in chairs first.  The cordial usher looked at my tickets and said they would find me a seat elsewhere.  No time to mutter, I pointed to the seat numbers and said, "These are our tickets and we expect to sit here, my husband cannot sit unattended!"
The usher disappeared, maybe I then began muttering.  The bell was sounding for all to enter and we were still waiting.  The usher's superior noted the urgency (the bell was still sounding) and had all the other wheelchair repositioned to allow Merv's chair to be next to my permanent seat.  I know that put a few people out but surely they knew they might be higgety piggety all over the place with their loved one placed elsewhere.  The man sitting next to be spent most of his time leaning over me to check his Mum on the end of the line of wheelchairs.
Merv thoroughly enjoyed the group.  He sang along to their well known songs; Oh What a Night, Bye Bye Baby, Sherry, Big Girls Don't Cry and Walk Like a Man.
A good time was had by all.

Friend or Foe

Routine, routine, routine.  I'm trying hard to make changes to my day.  When Merv went into permanent care my routine changed overnight.  No longer did I wake and toilet him, shower myself and then embark on the daily breakfast and personal care routine.  Now the mornings belong to me and me alone.
Mel and I have to be motivated to step out for a brisk walk.  Sleeping in seems to be its rival.  I thought a little stretching and yoga would be a satisfactory substitute.   Well last week we stretched and this morning we yoga-ed.  At least we attempted to.  Bum in the air, hands struggling to keep balance on the mat and trying to eye the You Tube video all at the same instant.  I like to think it was ten minutes but possibly less than four before we tumbled on the mat and turned off the TV to have breakfast.  At least we had emptied our lungs and refilled them a couple of times. Yep, stretching only tomorrow.
Last week we enjoyed the ballet, something we couldn't have done with Merv at home.  This week we were off to Bunnings for some serious DIY gardening.  I had booked by phone and arrived early with Mel in tow.  We sat on the nice white garden chairs and soon the tiny area filled with expectant fellow DIY ers.  We had a fabulous time potting tiny herbs in fabulous self draining free pots.  Our supervisor watched over us with an eagle eye.  Off came our free garden gloves and with a squirt of sanitiser we were filling our paper plates with hot cross buns, tiny chocolate eggs, dips and Tim Tam biscuits.  No small morning tea here, more of a serious party.  Coffee was served and raffle tickets distributed.  Everyone received a prize with first and second prizes worth $100.  Mel and I won the secateurs, a good sensible prize.  Bonus it was free.  Oh and then there was a gift bag filled with samples, seeds and other goodies.
I sat next to a woman who lives in the next suburb.  She began to chat to the supervisor and I found we have a bit in common.  We had both lived in Beechboro, worked in Bayswater and we both own our own homes and cars.  Nothing unusual there, lots of people do.  I thought this woman and I could possibly be friends.
Then the waves parted when she said she was fussy about her friends.  She said she loses friends because she says what she believes and people don't always agree with her. I thought most of my friends are pretty much the same way inclined.  I enjoy their friendship, we're all opiniated in some way or other.  I know I do the same.  My friends put up with me and I with them.  It what friends do.
The woman hadn't quite finished and said she was so over friends who didn't own their own house but were renting.  How was that relevant to anything?   Were they asking to stay with her or in need of money or food or both?
I can't wait for the next Bunnings garden DIY project,  I'll be there keeping a safe distance away from this not so friendly woman!

Does it Work?

I was a bit cross, truthfully I was more than a bit cross.  Mel has a support worker; a paid worker who spends three hours per week with her.  Young and fit, independent and lazy.  How do I know this?
Ok, maybe not lazy but just like all her friends - addicted to texting and avoiding work as work is at every turn.
The young lady arrives late, returns Mel early and spends copious time texting.  Today she took Mel in her car and left her there while she jumped out and paid her rent.  I wondered if she writes down the mileage and whether she will claim for the journey to pay her rent!  I was peeved when I heard Mel recounting today's time with her.
It made me think about the many times Merv's support workers have waited for me to leave before ringing their friends or family and having very long chats.  I've walked in on numerous such incidents.  The worst scenarios are where the support worker sits at the dining table doing her homework or other activity while Merv sits in another room watching inappropriate TV programs.
We all know it's not just support workers who are eager to keep their phones close at hand, talking, texting and checking whatever app is the favourite of the week.
A recent study went as far to say full time workers are often doing two hours work and wasting the other six hours.  I think back to my employment days.
There are coffee machines, chats of variable length while pushing buttons and steaming milk, toilet breaks, friendly chats to other members of staff.  Nothing to do with the job, social chit chat.
We talk at length to clients to whom we provide a service or product.  We end the conversation with  chatter of our footy teams, the weather, oh please not politics!
We bond, we take sides, we question and make judgement while our workload increases and forgotten.
Our schools have sorted themselves out.  They collect the student's mobile phones before school  returning them after the last bell.  They are children and we treat them as such, as we should.
Adults?  What is a solution or compromise here?  No-one knows.

                                               

Australia Day Celebration

The garden is finished, the house is just fine and Australia Day was just perfect.  The sun was warm but not too hot, the sky blue and the locals and holiday makers were out enjoying the weather and themselves.
We live in a holiday city and the locals will tell you to stay away from the tourist hot spots during the public holidays.  I keep this in mind when we plan our morning.  Firstly the outing, secondly the Australian Open.  Merv is a tennis fanatic!
Just down the road is a fabulous lake just metres from the estuary,  The lake is full of ducks, swamp hens, coots and as many sea gulls.  There are park benches and cute wooden bridges with a winding concrete path, ideal for wheelchairs.  It's already after ten and the car park is full so we wind around the streets until we find suitable parking.  The wildlife are living it up and the locals are in the estuary crabbing.  The rellies are keeping us supplied with crabs.  In the shallow water are family groups with mum and bub sitting on the steps hoping for a feed of crab for lunch.  We walk for awhile until we find a shady picnic table.  It's on the grass area and it takes all my strength to push the chair on the wild green grass.  We sit and eat our morning tea and enjoy watching others in the water and those flying by on their cycles with lycra and helmets flashing.  They later past us on the path as we stroll along and over the bridge.  It will soon be midday, time to return for a lazy lunch and tennis not so long afterwards.
As I prepare lunch my mind wanders.  I remember the many Australia Day celebrations of the past.  The numerous outings to Perth whether on the foreshore or at Kings Park to view the spectacular fireworks displays.  Memories of countless barbecues and get togethers with friends or family.  Then the year we had friends over for lunch and I created a huge jelly map of Australia!  Yes, Aussie flags, balloons and paraphernalia.  There is none of that today just the outing and a toast of water glasses over a healthy lunch!

Aqua Buddies

It's holiday time, many of the locals are on holidays and those already retired are free of appointments.  Give them a few more weeks and they'll be off to the dentist, doctor, physio and the podiatrist.  Another week and card in hand they will be lining up at the specialist rooms awaiting their turn, frustrated they have already waited two hours for an appointment they know will be over and done within ten minutes.  Still they wait to have their numerous ailments discussed and mulled over!
We are in the resort indoor pool at 10am and a great herd of locals have turned up for the water aerobics.  The regulars know each other well and catch up with family and local news.
I've only been a few times in our almost ten months of living here.  Most of the faces are unfamiliar.  The lady one door up I recognise and I ask about the health of our mutual neighbour.  It appears his health scare has resulted in a second operation but he is going to be just fine.  I am relieved to hear this.
Thelma calls us to attention.  I don't know how long she has been running this class three times a week but she knows every move by heart.  Her voice is soft and I strain to hear her instruction.  We warm up with those crucial arm stretches above our heads but after that I'm stuck and I copy the person in front circling my right foot under the water and changing over on Thelma's  command.  There is no loud bopping music, there is no music at all.  Just Thelma's instructions and a few wayward people both male and female chatting away and not really being attentive.  I watch as Alan and Bob make up their own moves until the foam noodles are handed out from the stash on the side of the pool.  Then the pool is filled with grey haired ladies and gents with a noodle between their legs (yes it's the Rocking Horse) striding up and down the pool.  We must look a sight!
I check out the time on the clock on the far wall.  Twenty minutes down and and forty more to go.
The next time I check the time there is only five minutes to go.  I have been miraculously following the moves (and making a few of my own up) while merrily chatting away.
I see it how it is and not how I would like it to be.  It's an exercise class and a reunion of local residents.  Everyone is comfortable and looking forward to their next class.  Why change it?

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My Holiday House

Another Christmas already gone.  Someone somewhere is counting the days to the next one.  It's certainly not me!  I just want to sleep and hide all the chocolates and drink all the wine.  The Christmas cake already devoured and enjoyed.
The weather is delightful.  So hot in Perth but it's so much cooler here by the coast. I'm loving it.  I have my 'Crimsafe' security on all my windows and doors and at every opportunity I slide open the windows with great vigour!  The sea breeze is refreshing and fills every nook and cranny of my home.
It is warmer outside today than usual and I balk at turning on the reverse cycle air conditioner.  Dollar signs and overpriced electricity bills besiege my mind.  I leave the windows open and the air conditioner off.  I turn on the fans instead.
Why is it that the sweat that trickles down my neck and finds the small of my back so comforting? What is the memory here?  I rack my brain to no avail but eventually it surfaces and I laugh.
My house which I own with Merv is not like any holiday home we have stayed in, the clue is the setting.  We are only two kilometres from the beach.  The beach I walked to this morning to enjoy my morning cuppa and a slice of fruit cake I found hiding in my fridge.  It is the proximity to the beach which is the clue and the joy of fresh breezes.
I conjure up memories of beach shacks, units, old houses and even caravans we have hired for past holidays at various beach locations.  Busselton, Albany, Mandurah and others. I don't think any of them had an air conditioner and most didn't have a fan.  They were holidays with the sea breeze dancing through our windows.  Days of sitting outside for meals or on the beach.  The trickle of sweat on our necks considered a necessity never a nuisance.
So here I am in my permanent 'holiday' home enjoying the trickle of sweat as the breeze dances through my windows and doors.  Precious memories of holidays visited.
With the pressures of everyday life as this year comes to a close, I choose to enjoy these memories.

Distance Apart

I heard that Addie wasn't well.  I was alarmed and chose to ring her at home but I woke her from her healing sleep.  I apologised.  Maybe it won't be enough.  Maybe it's time to let go.
I used to work with Addie.  Addie was the Admin Officer. One of my fellow colleagues when she began working with us was terrified of her.  All she could see was a scary person at the reception desk ensuring all was running to clockwork and sorting staff and clients out as necessary.  I remember I would work efficiently and quietly so not to be noticed.
Addie had already retired from a previous job due to her reaching retirement age but after a short time she was aching to get back to work so she did just that.
I don't remember how long it took but every now and then we would chat, Addie and I.  Always in control and when she was finished I would slink back to my desk and remember (most of the time!) to answer the phone if she was busy or away from her desk.  I have a bleak history of pressing the wrong connection buttons and cutting clients (and colleagues) off.  I could only get better!
I never quite made it to her elite group and I new I never would.
After four years I left work to care for Merv full time.  I had been employed as a full timer but asked for three days per week once Merv became ill in 2010.  I had made good friends with some of the staff but I still felt on the outer.
After leaving work Addie was the only person I kept in contact with.  We emailed and sent the occasional message including numerous photos.  In hindsight I think I sent all the photos!
I mentioned I needed a little adult conversation and just like that we began meeting at the local coffee shop once a fortnight after she finished work.  Jackie came along as well.  It was really very nice to share a meal and chat for hours.  Merv spent the time with a Support Worker and had his tea with her.
Addie knew I was going to sell my house but no one would have expected it to sell in two hours and eight weeks later I had moved an hours drive away.
Addie said she would come to my big birthday bash but she didn't.  I hadn't expected her to.
I keep her in my prayers and I think of her.  I want her to get better and go back to work.  Maybe she'll ring once she is well enough to and maybe she won't.  Maybe distance is severing the ties.  It can and often  does,
I will always rejoice in her friendship and thoughtfulness.  She opened a closed door for me.  I will be  forever grateful. Bless her.