Bag It

Was I bored when I signed up for the local council business course?  I filled in the online application and hit 'send.'  It was done.  I received a call telling me I had been accepted.  I was ecstatic! Finally I was doing something worthwhile.
I had a moment of inspiration.  Our supermarkets/food stores are banned from providing single use plastic bags from next month.  Why don't I supply reusable eco bags.  The market is there. '
Cheap bags for many,  expensive bags for others and even a gift bag range.  The ideas were running in my head like a raging torrent!
Part of my business inspiration comes from my previous business in 200.  I had my own small shopping service where I shopped and delivered for individuals and businesses.  It was long before Facebook, Instagram and paid Google.  I had my shopping service listed on the search engines completely FREE!
Advance to 2018 and I'm ready for this.
Week one in a new course is always getting to know each other and the structure of the course.
Yes that was fine.  Week two was ok, I even did a little homework and came to the realisation I wouldn't need a business card.  Social media has taken over.  Other class members handed out their carefully constructed business cards, a shame not to take one or two, ok maybe everyone who handed them out.
Week three was a bit of a turning point.  Our homework consisted of getting our message out on social media.  I can do that I thought and put together a business Facebook Page named, 'Bag It'. So easy.  I jotted down a spiel and took a couple of photos of shopping in single use plastic bags and then in reusable bags.  I had thought putting the Facebook page up would be tedious and time consuming.  Then I found out the catch - they asked me to pay for it!
Brilliant, that is if you're actually going to sell something.
With a business coach it helps to 'gel' with them.  I was (and I believe others are also) having issues with her teaching strategies and the lack of viable material. I don't usually  give up on something I begin without good reason.
Today I'm not looking for a good reason to throw in the towel.  I just know my time is needed elsewhere.  Yes, part of me is disappointed, that is the choice I make.
With Merv's Huntington's issues I decided to ditch the business idea and spend the time with him.  No one knows how much time he has left.  I don't want to spend years in the future regretting this  time lost.

The Misery Club

It was a fine autumn afternoon and I was sporting the beginnings of a head cold.  How many of us waltz into a care facility covering up our health issues and hoping (and praying) not to pass it on to anyone there?
I wanted to be part of the action in the care home's carer support group.  Last month there was a fantastic turn out but today there were just me, the facilitator  and later a rather spindly old bloke with a walking stick.  Yes - this was us.  No offers of a cup of tea or tiny cakes.
The bloke with the stick turned out to be angel.  He professed his love for his wife in care.  She has Alzheimer's disease and each day he visits her even though she no longer knows who he is.  My heart bled.
He went on to say he lives in a retirement village.  Each month the residents get together for their own carer's group.  Their loved ones residing at a range of different care facilities in the area.  He smiled and said they call it the, 'Misery Group,'  as each of them has a gripe or two to share!
I smiled back.   People being people will always find fault, it's our nature.
He smiled again and said though we always gripe about something, it's not life threatening for their loved ones.  I smiled back.  Yes I may not always be happy with Merv's care in his care facility but I know they are doing their best and he's not in danger.
Thank you God for sending an angel.

The Book

Life is full of ups and downs.  Yes, when I stood precariously upon my scales UP is what they told me!  My weight loss of almost 20kgs six years ago was no longer anything to brag about.  I thought about the last year.  Selling my house, moving house, Merv's  continuing health decline.  Hmm wine, cheese (oh how I love soft blue cheese and rounds of camembert with crackers olives and more wine!) Oh and chocolate; chocolate with soft centres as well as creamy chocolate with nuts or fruit, better still both.  All of this food really loved me also because it had no intention of leaving my waistline!
I had walked to the beach and back, about 30 minutes return.  I had walked along the estuary and even been to the gym a few times but the extra kilos weren't budging.
In 2012 I spent a year drinking health shakes, trying the protein diet and doing weight watcher points.  It was difficult.  I hated the shakes and settled for the bars at lunch time.  Merv and I had returned from our around New Zealand cruise in January that year.  Cruises are full of picture postcard moments and a great deal more food than anyone ever needs.  Cocktails every night, three course, or was that four course dinners?  I remember being offered double desserts. Instead of saying, "No thank you I'm already full."  It was more like, "Bring it on, it is so wonderful..."
Needless to say I was in need of help not more food.
Six years later I'm revisiting all of this (minus the cruise).  I've lost a few kilos, I've added a few more since Christmas.  Time for radical stuff.
The thought of those insidious shakes or a return to the protein diet was enough to look elsewhere.  I had visited Merv before his Foxtel connection and began listening to some woman carrying on about her weight loss.  Oh God not another diet story!  I was interrupted by my phone ringing but wrote down the title of the book this woman carried on about.  That evening with nothing much planned I googled the title of the book and read the reviews.  It intrigued me with its simplicity and reviews.
What is this book?  The Little Book of Big Weight Loss by Bernadette Fisers.  I downloaded it on iBooks.  I figured it's better to lose $8 rather than $20 if I buy the printed copy.  Who knew whether I would actually attempt it just by hearing about it on a TV gossip show?  Anyway my sister, my daughter and I are on day 2 and heading for day 3.  It's a simple and achievable plan but like all things you have to put the work in.  Giving up processed foods and sugar, it doesn't sound easy but it appears it's not so hard.  Tomorrow we're having an ANZAC home baked cookie, it has sugar in it but it's a day of remembrance for Australians and New Zealanders.  Bernadette suggests dark chocolate and fruit each day.  All sounds good to me.  Hopefully I'll have better news to report later!

Making Noise, Being Heard

I bought Merv tickets for the matinee session of the Jersey Boys at our local Performing Arts Centre. I had bought them months ago to ensure we had the best seats.  Wheelchair access that is!  I logged into my brain and repeated the date, I clipped the envelope containing the treasured tickets to my dressing table mirror.  I dare not forget and I didn't.
With Merv in permanent care I arrived on the day to find him in his pyjama top!  I laughed with the day staff (muttering under my breath they couldn't tell he was wearing his pyjama top) while I redressed him in an appropriate dark green polo shirt.  So much better.
We headed for the cafe on the foreshore and ordered a big bowl of hot chips for him.  Mel and I shared a basket of pulled pork sliders.  Oh so yummy!  As I paid the bill in cash I noted I received $10 less than what I should.  The staff member printed out the receipt (muttering under her breath I was taking up her time).  She pointed to the total which was $10 more than I ordered than she looked at the items listed, snatched the $10 out of my hand and replaced it with a $20 note.  No explanation provided.  I know that's happened before.  The error being my order was added to the previous order. Thankfully I was checking my change and not paying by card.
We enjoyed our lunch on the boardwalk enjoying the slight cool breeze and watching the pelicans drift past.
Mel went home and I pushed Merv in his chair to the Performing Arts Centre.  It was packed mostly with grey haired seniors.  There were lots of wheelchairs and as the line to enter the auditorium grew we were asked to stand aside.  I understood they needed to get people in chairs first.  The cordial usher looked at my tickets and said they would find me a seat elsewhere.  No time to mutter, I pointed to the seat numbers and said, "These are our tickets and we expect to sit here, my husband cannot sit unattended!"
The usher disappeared, maybe I then began muttering.  The bell was sounding for all to enter and we were still waiting.  The usher's superior noted the urgency (the bell was still sounding) and had all the other wheelchair repositioned to allow Merv's chair to be next to my permanent seat.  I know that put a few people out but surely they knew they might be higgety piggety all over the place with their loved one placed elsewhere.  The man sitting next to be spent most of his time leaning over me to check his Mum on the end of the line of wheelchairs.
Merv thoroughly enjoyed the group.  He sang along to their well known songs; Oh What a Night, Bye Bye Baby, Sherry, Big Girls Don't Cry and Walk Like a Man.
A good time was had by all.

Friend or Foe

Routine, routine, routine.  I'm trying hard to make changes to my day.  When Merv went into permanent care my routine changed overnight.  No longer did I wake and toilet him, shower myself and then embark on the daily breakfast and personal care routine.  Now the mornings belong to me and me alone.
Mel and I have to be motivated to step out for a brisk walk.  Sleeping in seems to be its rival.  I thought a little stretching and yoga would be a satisfactory substitute.   Well last week we stretched and this morning we yoga-ed.  At least we attempted to.  Bum in the air, hands struggling to keep balance on the mat and trying to eye the You Tube video all at the same instant.  I like to think it was ten minutes but possibly less than four before we tumbled on the mat and turned off the TV to have breakfast.  At least we had emptied our lungs and refilled them a couple of times. Yep, stretching only tomorrow.
Last week we enjoyed the ballet, something we couldn't have done with Merv at home.  This week we were off to Bunnings for some serious DIY gardening.  I had booked by phone and arrived early with Mel in tow.  We sat on the nice white garden chairs and soon the tiny area filled with expectant fellow DIY ers.  We had a fabulous time potting tiny herbs in fabulous self draining free pots.  Our supervisor watched over us with an eagle eye.  Off came our free garden gloves and with a squirt of sanitiser we were filling our paper plates with hot cross buns, tiny chocolate eggs, dips and Tim Tam biscuits.  No small morning tea here, more of a serious party.  Coffee was served and raffle tickets distributed.  Everyone received a prize with first and second prizes worth $100.  Mel and I won the secateurs, a good sensible prize.  Bonus it was free.  Oh and then there was a gift bag filled with samples, seeds and other goodies.
I sat next to a woman who lives in the next suburb.  She began to chat to the supervisor and I found we have a bit in common.  We had both lived in Beechboro, worked in Bayswater and we both own our own homes and cars.  Nothing unusual there, lots of people do.  I thought this woman and I could possibly be friends.
Then the waves parted when she said she was fussy about her friends.  She said she loses friends because she says what she believes and people don't always agree with her. I thought most of my friends are pretty much the same way inclined.  I enjoy their friendship, we're all opiniated in some way or other.  I know I do the same.  My friends put up with me and I with them.  It what friends do.
The woman hadn't quite finished and said she was so over friends who didn't own their own house but were renting.  How was that relevant to anything?   Were they asking to stay with her or in need of money or food or both?
I can't wait for the next Bunnings garden DIY project,  I'll be there keeping a safe distance away from this not so friendly woman!

Does it Work?

I was a bit cross, truthfully I was more than a bit cross.  Mel has a support worker; a paid worker who spends three hours per week with her.  Young and fit, independent and lazy.  How do I know this?
Ok, maybe not lazy but just like all her friends - addicted to texting and avoiding work as work is at every turn.
The young lady arrives late, returns Mel early and spends copious time texting.  Today she took Mel in her car and left her there while she jumped out and paid her rent.  I wondered if she writes down the mileage and whether she will claim for the journey to pay her rent!  I was peeved when I heard Mel recounting today's time with her.
It made me think about the many times Merv's support workers have waited for me to leave before ringing their friends or family and having very long chats.  I've walked in on numerous such incidents.  The worst scenarios are where the support worker sits at the dining table doing her homework or other activity while Merv sits in another room watching inappropriate TV programs.
We all know it's not just support workers who are eager to keep their phones close at hand, talking, texting and checking whatever app is the favourite of the week.
A recent study went as far to say full time workers are often doing two hours work and wasting the other six hours.  I think back to my employment days.
There are coffee machines, chats of variable length while pushing buttons and steaming milk, toilet breaks, friendly chats to other members of staff.  Nothing to do with the job, social chit chat.
We talk at length to clients to whom we provide a service or product.  We end the conversation with  chatter of our footy teams, the weather, oh please not politics!
We bond, we take sides, we question and make judgement while our workload increases and forgotten.
Our schools have sorted themselves out.  They collect the student's mobile phones before school  returning them after the last bell.  They are children and we treat them as such, as we should.
Adults?  What is a solution or compromise here?  No-one knows.

                                               

Australia Day Celebration

The garden is finished, the house is just fine and Australia Day was just perfect.  The sun was warm but not too hot, the sky blue and the locals and holiday makers were out enjoying the weather and themselves.
We live in a holiday city and the locals will tell you to stay away from the tourist hot spots during the public holidays.  I keep this in mind when we plan our morning.  Firstly the outing, secondly the Australian Open.  Merv is a tennis fanatic!
Just down the road is a fabulous lake just metres from the estuary,  The lake is full of ducks, swamp hens, coots and as many sea gulls.  There are park benches and cute wooden bridges with a winding concrete path, ideal for wheelchairs.  It's already after ten and the car park is full so we wind around the streets until we find suitable parking.  The wildlife are living it up and the locals are in the estuary crabbing.  The rellies are keeping us supplied with crabs.  In the shallow water are family groups with mum and bub sitting on the steps hoping for a feed of crab for lunch.  We walk for awhile until we find a shady picnic table.  It's on the grass area and it takes all my strength to push the chair on the wild green grass.  We sit and eat our morning tea and enjoy watching others in the water and those flying by on their cycles with lycra and helmets flashing.  They later past us on the path as we stroll along and over the bridge.  It will soon be midday, time to return for a lazy lunch and tennis not so long afterwards.
As I prepare lunch my mind wanders.  I remember the many Australia Day celebrations of the past.  The numerous outings to Perth whether on the foreshore or at Kings Park to view the spectacular fireworks displays.  Memories of countless barbecues and get togethers with friends or family.  Then the year we had friends over for lunch and I created a huge jelly map of Australia!  Yes, Aussie flags, balloons and paraphernalia.  There is none of that today just the outing and a toast of water glasses over a healthy lunch!