Sneaky Snickers

It was raining on Thursday.  It was chilly cold and so very horrid.  It was not a day for a walk in the park.  Mel and I went to the gym instead.  She did her hourly gym program complete with weird machines and weights while I pushed myself to complete 30 minutes on the treadmill watching last night's TV without the sound.  I finished before Mel and headed for the café to read the local newspaper.
I've added a bit of weight in the last few months and Spring is just around the corner.  I decided to weigh myself the following morning.  It wasn't my goal weight which I wanted but better than last month.
I later went shopping at Aldi before lunch.  Never a good time to shop but there I was thirty minutes from home in need of a couple of Aldi specials.
There was no parking near by so I grabbed some shopping bags and walked five minutes to the store.  Soon my list was crossed off and a number of other goodies unexpectedly jumped into my bag.  I can never figure that bit out.
By the time I queued up at the check out the chocolate bars were shouting at me.  I had a choice between some unknown chocolate roll stuffed with toffee (never good for my teeth) or a double sized Snickers bar.  I snatched the Snickers and wedged it among my goodies on the conveyer belt.
I threw my shopping in the boot of my car, everything that was except the Snickers bar.  It sat right next to me until I ripped off the top with my teeth and ate one of the two bars. Devoured in seconds before my key even made it to the ignition.
Ohhhh yummy I purred. 
Oh no, I later groaned (thinking of those calories and the scales)
I didn't want to go the gym later.  It was cold outside but I grudgingly pulled on my brand new gym leggings, hung my larnyard with gym card attached around my pulsating neck.   Another 30 minutes on the treadmill and I'm done and on the way home.  At least I'm no longer cold.
The next morning I pull out the scales.  I know its going to be bad, really bad.  I step gingerly on the scales.  I have lost 200 grams. 
WOW!  I exclaim.  I can lose weight eating Snickers.  It's going to be a good day.
By lunchtime I'm hungry (yes I had breakfast) and I eye off the other half of the Snickers bar.  I'm not going to the gym today as Merv is home.  I pour myself a wine and devour the other half of my hidden Snickers bar.  Oh I feel so naughty and nice!
The next day I feel terrible.  What have I done.  How did one (oversized) Snickers bar make me paranoid?  I deserve nothing good.  I close my eyes, step on my scales but I can't get excited.
Have I really lost another 200 grams? 
'Liar'  I say, 'No one loses weight eating a Snickers Bar.'  
I hide the scales.  I'm not going to weigh myself tomorrow because I'm all out of Snickers Bars.  I expect I've added a kilo or two or three....