A day to get everything ready, to check everything, to pack everything and make sure Merv has everything because today he goes into respite for two weeks which allows me to have a little 'me time.'
This has been happening twice a year for four years. I used to take it for granted. I travelled or just sat somewhere. Just being what I said to my counsellor: normal. Normal people don't wash their spouses, clean their teeth and never have the choice to ask for their help. Or maybe I am wrong.
I read magazines with amazing stories of people overcoming their disabilities and the joy they bring. I find it difficult to find joy.
Merv has Huntington's Disease, a challenging degenerative disease. His health has declined steeply in the last six months. His mobility is declining. I wonder what the person in the street thinks as Merv stumbles by. Only the other day he got up from his recliner and lost his balance bringing the side table crushing to the floor. Fortunately he was better off than the table, which has been demoted to the bin after a crack the width of the table disabled it completely.
Merv looked at my sheepishly as I helped him off the floor. I suggested he used the lift chair for what it is! The lifting part will help him stabilise his balance. I smile to myself. It is a good sign he can think and fight and not give in.
We were twenty minutes late in arriving for his respite. I had packed his suitcase, wrapped a seatbelt around his shower chair (yes, we are asked to bring our own), dissected his wheelchair into little bits only to put it all together once we arrive. I collected a pile of books and magazines for him to look at, none of them library books which would never be found again. Our local library sells non fiction books a couple of times a year. Merv has varied interests of not only sports and footy but Australia and places around the world we have visited together. Books on these places are eagerly sought.
I almost forgot the tray of iced chocolate cupcakes I had cooked and frozen on Saturday. A last moment memory. I had no room in the car so I rested the tray on the upside down shower chair in the back seat.
When we arrived at respite I spoke with the staff and went through Merv's updated care plan and how to use the new Safe Straws to prevent the scary choking incidents of the last few months.
I emptied his suitcase, hanging his clothes in the wardrobe and finding a home for everything else. I took him by the hand and showed him where to find his clothes and his beloved treasures.
I kiss him goodbye and hope for the best. I pass the baton and move away.
I drive to Mel's house. We are off on the bus to Pemberton tomorrow for a few days. We have planned a wildflower tour and a boat cruise on the Donnelly River.
It's going to take me a few days to relax and enjoy, but I know this time around it's a bit more difficult.
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