In Memory of Mum

Last year our family gathered in the heat of the summer for Dustin and Grace's wedding.  This year we once again gathered in the coolness of autumn to farewell our Mum. 
It was a bright day in May which began like any other but by day's end a shadow cast itself long and bleak upon us.  Our Mum had fought her last battle of which she was not strong enough to return.  Her life as we knew it was snatched away by cardiac arrest.  There was no time for us to converse with her and share a kiss before she went.  As we stood quietly by her bedside in the emergency department she was already unconscious and on her way to the other side.
A moment in time which changed our lives forever.
Mum was 86.  Her health was declining but she had lived a good life.  Mum's life wasn't an easy life but she made the best of what she had and was ingenious in achieving what others may think impossible.  Mum was a good role model and I strive to achieve where otherwise I may not pursued my project at hand.
My sisters and I rallied together to give Mum a send off which we believe she would have been happy with.  It gave us much comfort.  The rest of the family attended her farewell and we recounted our fondest memories.
Each Monday morning Merv and I would visit Mum in her nursing home and spend time chatting and exchanging stories.  I will miss our Monday get togethers.  Mum was always interested in how Mel was going.  Was she still losing weight?  Is she well?  Is she keeping busy? Mum would also ask about Dustin, Merv and myself.  Monday morning is coming soon.
Mum enjoyed coming to our house for a cooked lunch of her choice.  Once she asked for sausages and mash and other times it was beloved Shepherd's pie (mince and potato) or roast chicken with all the trimmings.  Mum visited for Christmas, Easter and Mother's Day.  I would pick her up after I had prepped the vegetables  and put the roast in the oven.  There were Hot Cross Buns for Easter and fruit mince pies at Christmas. After lunch Mum would get comfy on my recliner chair and begin to watch a movie of her choice.  Before long she would be fast asleep and I'd wake her a little further into the movie!  She never seemed to mind!
How will I manage now?  Yes, I know; just one day at a time.  It's going to take me a while before I stop thinking as if Mum is still with us.  She's been my Mum for over 58 years, it's difficult to think of her no longer here.

Renovation

The weather is so much cooler.  A little chilly in the morning now and I find myself huddling under the bed covers instead of  leaping out of bed for my hourly walk.  Today Merv is at the day centre and an early morning walk is definitely out of the question.  Instead I set off at 1pm and find I notice gardens I normally just trot by.  I make mental notes of the plants and whether they are growing well in my neighbourhood.  It wont be long before I'm digging and planting new specimens in my garden beds.  Some are doomed while hopefully others will flourish.  My once green thumb is a shade on the dark side!
This morning I went searching for the dreaded laundry sink/cabinet to replace the grubby rusty one in my 70's laundry.  My laundry is screaming out for a re-fit! 
My kitchen and bathroom has both gone under the hammer, gutted and renovated. The bathroom being our worst experience.  We had to move out for two weeks as we didn't have the use of a toilet or shower area.  Was it worth it?  Yes.
The laundry renovation - who will it affect?  Just the washing machine and the need for clean clothes.
This brings back memories of our early married years.  We had an old twin tub washer donated to us.  Vicki's neighbour had put it out on the verge and we were the 'lucky' recipients!   The washing part was fine.  It had a large swinging paddle which washed the clothes.  Then I had to take the clothes and put them in the spin dryer while adding rinse water.  Nothing was automatic then.  Before the twin tub I laboriously washed everything by hand including Dustin's nappies!  There were soaking nappies in buckets of Napi-San everywhere and my hands were as hard and rough as sandpaper!  I would smother them in Barrier Cream before squeezing my fingers into cotton gloves.  Eventually Dustin was potty trained and my hands recovered.
We bought our first automatic washing machine in 1978 from Boans for $300.  A lot of money back then.  It lasted almost 20 years and some days it spat out more than five loads of well washed clothing, towels and sheets. 
Unexpectedly it retired and we used Merv's mother's gigantic top loader which was left in our shed after she sold her house goods in one of our famous garage sales.  She moved into residential care at the time.  Her old machine was fabulous for doona's, blankets and large washes but it took a swimming pool of water for every wash!  Not long after it also had enough of our ongoing washing needs and spat the dummy!
Ten years ago we went to the Harvey Norman seconds store and bought our Electrolux front loader.  It still goes well even though it creaks and whines when it begins a cycle.  It's difficult to push a blanket into but we do anyway.  The kids have long ago flown the nest but I still wash often to keep Merv in clean clothes. 
I'm sure the laundry renovation won't take long, possibly a day, maybe less.  I want to spend a minimum amount with a trendy result.  It's all about getting a good price for the house next year when we put it up for sale.  Wish me luck!

The old Twin Tub Washer!

Mistaken Identity

Mother's Day looms this Sunday. Today is Friday and this morning after Merv was wheeled onto the community bus for his day centre I fiddle around for awhile before I headed off for the liquor store.  Our Mother's Day lunch is at an old fashioned Chinese restaurant.  Nothing there has changed for twenty years but we go back time and time again!  At least the food is reliable.  It is also BYO.  This morning I purchase enough wine at the liquor store to satisfy a small army.  Dustin likes sweet Moscato, Mum enjoys dry white.  I pick some up for myself to keep me going and join the store club.  More time wasted.  I fiddle some more at a shop I had planned to make some purchases but  in the end I don't purchase anything.  Nothing worth buying today.  Then I am home and getting ready for the gym.  There won't be much chance of a work out over the weekend.  Sunday promises to be busy.
My favourite machines are free at the gym and I take advantage of the Tread Climber and a variety of other machines.  Then I'm ready to leave.  As I depart a woman shorter than myself (who is shorter than me?) says hello and says she hasn't seen me for ages. 
I am looking at her with no recognition.  Did she lose 50kgs and therefore she is unrecognisable?  I recognise her voice but I still can't place her.  I wonder if it's mistaken identity.  Maybe I do look so much older than I am.  The seniors group has just departed.  They look soooo old.  It will be a long, long time before I join their group!
Her voice haunts me for awhile but my brain is in overdrive and I soon push it to one side.  Time to get the day sorted. 
Mother's Day will be a regular taxi driving day.  Yes, I am the taxi driver!  Dustin and Grace will be visiting Merv's sister in the morning.  I am pleased that they are.  I will have Merv, Mel and Mum in my car for the trip to and from the restaurant but I already have it all sorted.
This year I'm also doing something different.  My daughter Mel at 36 is not a mother and neither is my daughter in law, Grace at 30.  I want to recognise them as loving people because that is the role of a mother.
Mel took me to the movies yesterday to see the new Mother's Day movie with Jennifer Aniston and Julia Roberts.  It was a chic flick but I enjoyed it immensely.  When the son had an asthma attack and his mum rushed off to the hospital to be with him (you'll have to see the film to know why they weren't together initially) I cried.  It brought back so many memories of Mel and her chronic asthma attacks.  Twice she was in ICU.  Once we almost lost her.  She asthma is much better controlled now.
Mother's Day brings back memories of small children waking me in the morning with tea and toast (burnt or underdone but always appreciated).  I remember as the children grew we had Mother's Day breakfasts or café style lunches followed by wine and chocolate later in the day.
Now I am a Mother to Mel.  She still requires a lot of mothering.  Dustin now married is free of my reins and mothering is no longer on his agenda.  Hopefully there maybe Grandchildren in the future!
Mother's Day is celebrated on different days/months in different parts of the world, but wherever you live I wish all Mums a very 'Happy Mother's Day.'