It's always in hindsight when we realised her health had been declining for sometime. I knew she was rapidly losing weight and her energy and enthusiasm with it.
Mum passed away in May this year. It is our first Christmas without her. We have had many family Christmas celebrations over the years, especially in Mandurah where both my sisters lived for sometime. Mum would come to stay with them if she was living elsewhere. In the last six years we celebrated Christmas with Mum. Mum came to stay for a few days Christmas 2009 and the following year she moved to a nearby suburb. Mum fell and broke her hip soon after her 80th birthday and entered a residential care unit.
Mum and whoever was free for Christmas came to my house and I cooked turkey and vegetables for dinner. I always had a store bought plum pudding and another dessert. We always had too much to eat and I would make Mum a ham and pickle sandwich for her to eat for her tea after she arrived at her home.
This year I missed not only our regular Monday visits but the banter between us about our Christmas Day menu. Though there was little point in asking what she wanted as Mum always requested a fruit mince pie for morning tea and a sample of anything else available. I always sought out the most moreish fruit mince pies, sampling one long before I purchased a dozen for Christmas day. A treasured fruit mince pie would bring a sparkle to her eyes!
This year I missed our banter about what we would have for Christmas morning tea (of course, a fruit mince pie!). I missed discussing the lunch and dessert menu (same as usual please). The last few years Mum would have a rest after her big lunch and fall asleep quite happily on the lounge, no matter which movie was playing!
Lunch was always the same no matter how hot it was. I prayed fervently for cooler weather but we were inundated with over 35 degrees Christmases, year after year! Lunch was cooked turkey (usually a turkey roll), roast potatoes and pumpkin and stacks of steamed vegetables. Yummy. We covered ours with gravy but not Mum. Then there was a glass of dry white wine. Mum would take a sip or two and leave the rest. She never said she didn't want wine so we just served it anyway!
Our table had the usual Christmas tablecloths and decorations. We always had red and green bon-bons. Mum was always intrigued by the miniature trinkets inside and took hers home. We wore paper hats from the bon-bons, shared the terrible jokes, laughed and chatted throughout.
Vicki visited a few times for Christmas which often left me in a pickle. I had to pick up Vicki and Mum basically at the same time. Dustin often came to my rescue picking up Vicki or I would do two trips. Only once did I forget to turn on the oven and rang home while driving to give Mel direct instructions. The turkey was later triumphant.
Mum was a silent support for Merv. When we visited her she would always talked to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek as we left. She just accepted him as he was. Just one step down the ladder at a time.
After Mum died and Christmas thoughts began later in the year I suggested to the kids we have a Christmas picnic. No cooking, no hot veggies, just picnic food!
Vicki now needs to travel in a Maxi taxi with a carer making a Christmas Day visit far too difficult for everyone. Therefore she and her amazing young carer visited us a few days ago to celebrate Christmas and enjoy a cooked Christmas lunch. Yes with the bon-bons and presents. We had a lovely time.
My younger sister invited us to Christmas lunch at her house with her lovely family. We cancelled our picnic and we are looking forward to spending the day a fabulous day together.
Mum I will miss you on Christmas Day.
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| My Mum last Christmas at my house |
