What is Friendship?

My friend, Carrie rang me Christmas morning.  I wasn't expecting her call but she blurted quickly she hadn't posted her Christmas cards but she had written them all.  She didn't want me to celebrate Christmas without wishing me well. I had a few minutes to give and shared them with her. 
Carrie and I have been friends for what seems forever.  This year she has had more than her fair share of family issues and health scares.  I always have time for her.
A few days after Christmas I rang Carrie and we chatted.  Life is not good to her at the moment and sounds like it wont get any better for awhile to come.  She always has time for me and I love her for it.  She is like a sister. So many people don't have the time or want to listen and share. Just a cuppa and a chat about anything shows friendship and love.
Only a few years back a family friend of over twenty years vanished from our lives.  Every time I met her at the shops she would say hello and then just as quickly make an excuse to leave and rush off.  She had nursed her frail mother for many years until her recent death and I could only presume she didn't want to get caught up with Merv's ill health.  She became cold and aloof.  Her Christmas cards once filled with love and warmth arrived with no sign of our once joyous relationship.  I pulled out her previous years Christmas card and for the next two years and I displayed it with the new ones.  I had loved reading the cheery words she had written in years past with always the promise of friendship the following year. 
Last year I received another card from her with only; 'Merry Christmas and happy new year.'  It meant nothing.  I tore it up and binned it.  This year I didn't display that special card she sent us years ago, it now lives along with my other much treasured cards.
I'm very much aware that a disability isn't for everyone.  The first thing a couple or individual learns if they are suddenly disabled is a loss of friends and family.  It didn't just happen to me, it happens to lots of people. We've done it ourselves as most of us have.  We just don't know what to say, what to do and how to act. 
Then there are the do-gooders which just leave you shaking your head.  They are the project managers.  They always have a project.  A neighbour,  a relative, a friend in need.  There is an endless list of those in need and one by one they are struck off their list when a good deed is done or the person becomes too needy.  The project manager appears like a tsunami drowning you in their structured 'love' and good intentions.  Yes, their intentions because they never ask you what you need.  We are expected to just be grateful! 
The do-gooder tells you all the things they will help you to do but rarely does anything eventuate.  They are just hot air thinkers not doers.Then as quickly as it began it is finished and you hear the good fairy is helping someone else and you are left to mop up the mess and make excuses for the exit of the do-gooder.
Today I am wary of the do-gooders.  When people ask me how Merv is the answer is always the same (unless you are a professional like a specialist, counsellor, OT or physio).  Merv is always good even when he's not. No one wants to know about his bowel problems (except his GP) or the problems with his mobility (except his physio).  I am just as good, even though I have just spent ten minutes pulling out my hair, kicking the door and making up new swear words. No wonder I feel good! Cate Blanchard and I have a lot in common; both great actors!
I hope I can get together with Carrie soon over a cuppa.  I don't want to chat about the tough times, I just want to sit and laugh and have some fun.

Keeping up with Christmas

Last weekend I found out my GP died and a friend with Huntington's Disease.  This weekend my microwave, my fountain motor and my printer stopped working.
It wasn't until I turned on the dishwasher and it was as dead as a doorknob that the lightbulb flashed.
I grabbed a torch unlocked the meter box and found the offending trip switch.  Boldly I turned it on and hoped for the best.
Whoppee - the microwave is working again and so is the outdoor fountain and deep breath in, so is the dishwasher.  My Electrolux dishwasher was nicknamed, 'Alex' long before he was connected and started work at my place.  He's been scrubbing and rinsing for almost ten years now and he is much appreciated!  Tomorrow I'll use the microwave.  It's dark outside so I'll leave it in case everything stops again.  A new microwave is on my after Christmas Sales list.   
The frustration of the day is almost over but the darn printer still refuses to print.  The computer says it should, the printer says it should, it just doesn't.  I no longer care, I've had enough.
Last year I seemed to have so much more energy.  I remember washing windows before Christmas, hosting a family Secret Santa and a mirage of other chores successfully executed before the man in the red suit came down the chimney.  (hmm I don't really have a chimney and the front door is always locked!)
I think about what has changed since last Christmas.  I'm making a list of what I need to do.  I should list; cleaning the outdoor furniture and pulling the weeds but I wonder if I should even bother.  There are too many other things to do.
Merv is more dependent on me now, even showering and dressing is taking longer.  It's not just the time but the emotional and physical drain.  His sister Vicki has been very ill and only now is recovering. 
Mel takes up a lot of my time which is my choice to be her weight loss manager.  It brings me much joy to have a healthier daughter.
No Christmas Carols or late night drives are planned this year to marvel at houses lit up with lights and blow up Santas.  I know I should but it gives me a headache just to think about it. 
Our Christmas tree is up and a few decorations.  There appears to be fewer every year!
But come Christmas week I will don my Christmas garb, heat up the oven and serve turkey dinner with all the trimmings.  I will click on the Christmas album on the iPad and we'll sit down to toast the season and pull bon-bons before tucking into our Christmas lunch!  It will be amazing.
I wont think about the windows and I'll hope no one will notice either!

To Paris We Will Go...

I have hundreds of photos of her in skinny little dresses looking like Megan Gale or Jennifer Hawkins.
My Mel at 36 has had a yo-yo of a time with her weight.  As a young girl she ate whatever she liked and was as skinny as a beanpole.  This continued until she was 22 and prescribed mental health medication for her illness.  She went up four dress sizes and over 20kgs in less than twelve months.  It was devastating to see her bulking up but her only desire was to munch as much as possible and as quickly as possible!   She became an expert on chocolate bars, packs of crisps and the latest choc covered ice creams!  She knew no limits to satisfy her hunger or the amount of calories she munched on.
Just like the women's magazines which have endless stories of fad diet and dieters with amazing diet success stories we were on a mission.  Mel like many others tried Jenny Craig and lost a few kilos only to put it back on plus a few more.  She tried Lite & Easy and a variety of other pre-cooked meal programs.  By early 2013 we decided to take the bull by the horns and she joined Weight Watchers.  Amazingly she lost almost 19 kilos but after twelve months she stopped being inspired and the yo-yo syndrome once again raised it's demeaning head.  Eventually Mel had successfully gained 10kgs and I declared war.
I was disheartened she was paying $75 per month to Weight Watchers but only gaining not losing.  War it was!  I gave myself the title of; 'Weight Loss Manager' and began a plan where she could only lose not gain.  Lose weight that is!
We created 2kgs incentives which included Gold Class movies, massages and a new desk for her colouring in books she loves.  There are a whole list of rules and encouragements.  A Fitbit was purchased and the gym membership put to better use.
This week Mel gained her prized incentive - a pair of blue jeans because she has now lost 10kgs in 14 weeks.   Well done Mel!
I promised Mel a trip anywhere on a plane when she gets to 65kgs (another 15 kgs to lose).  I thought she might say; Singapore or Fiji but she was adamant she wants to go to Paris.  It took only a minute to agree.  If getting down to goal weight after 14 years of being overweight Mel wants to celebrate in Paris then that is exactly what we will do.  Time to start saving....

3rd September 89.6kgs

Celebration 10 December 79.6kgs

Running Hot

I've been home for almost a week.  There have been moments of joy, disbelief at our completing our journey and plain darn tiredness.  It isn't every year you prepare for a 304km walk and complete it, but we did.  The three sisters together. 
Yesterday I was only interested in cleaning the house; we have a big day ahead, why not get it done now?  It's late but it doesn't matter.  I vacuum, I dust, I clean the bathroom.  I'm filling up the bucket with nice hot water.  I'm turning off the water and yet again I turn it on.  I turn it off but nothing is happening, the tap is stuck and the hot water is running.  Not just a friendly drip or even a trickle but a full-on marathon white water rafting style running. 
I stop to reflect.  I turn off the water at the mains.  I rummage around for a torch and old shoes.  The water meter is smack bang in the middle of my sandy flower garden.  It has more sand than flowers.  I turn off the tap, but I still hear the water raging down the laundry drain.  I'm sure the neighbour can hear it also.  I turn off the gas lever as the gas hot water tank starts to grunt, groan and becomes an alien in the darkness of night.  It's now asleep but the water in the laundry is still running.
Out comes the iPad and I Google my predicament. It tells me to find the tap on the water heater and turn it off.  Oh, brilliant I say and run outside with my torch to find the tap.  It’s sitting in the darkness of the sleeping tank but it won’t budge.  My hands hurt but I'm not beaten. 
I figure if I can’t turn the outside tap off I will try once more to turn off the laundry tap with an arrangement of Merv's old tools, but with no success. 
I stop and reflect once again.  A tool of some description is what I need.  I pick up a thing which looks like a spanner with a circle at one end. (Merv tells me the next morning it's called a ring spanner).   I grab the torch once again and do battle with the outside tap.  I get the circle thing and twist with all my might.  The tap screams and slowly moves.  I am ecstatic.  The sound of the running water from my nearby laundry stops suddenly and I sigh with relief.

I'm never going to make a handywoman but I will never give up! 

I turned on the water at the mains this morning when it was light.  I can fill the kettle and use the loo.  I can't have a hot shower; there is no hot water. 

I call the plumber who promises to visit between 12pm -3pm.  He arrives at 3pm and all is done within 30 minutes.   The washers are replaced.  I ask him to replace washers on both laundry taps as he has only replaced the hot water tap washer.  He is happy to do so and as he does he remarks it had only one more turn left in it.  Thank goodness, it's all done.  The gas is back on and the hot water tank groans, moans, bangs and belches as it fills up and delivers hot water not long afterwards.

I'm looking forward to a long hot shower!


The three sisters completed the Coast to Coast walk in England from Sunday 5th July - Friday 17th  July 2015.  We had an amazing time.  See our Facebook page for the full story.  It is amazing.

www.facebook.com/walkforhuntingtons

Thank you for your support and reading my crazy blogs.


Three Sisters at completion of our walk



Worst Case Scenario

It happened just how I thought a nightmare would be.  With just one week before we leave for the UK, daughter Mel came down with a cold and her asthma threatened to take control.  I'm not one for rushing over to her place laden with medical healing marvels, but this time that is just what I did!

After a gruelling two hour beach walking session that afternoon I received her call.  Her voice was raspy and her breathing beginning to rattle.  I grabbed my car keys and hit the chemist buying the cold and flu tablets and driving in the dark of night to her place to provide the magic tablets.  Her flatmate called me a 'good mother,' but I wasn't listening.

We changed the brand of cold and flu tablets the next day and by the weekend she was dosing up on a tonic as she sat in my lounge while I waited on her hand and foot.  I cooked, I cleaned and I dosed her up with modern day magic medicine. 

I thought terrible thoughts of missing my plane as she lie in a hospital bed gasping for breath, but it was just my overactive imagination.  Thank God.

After two nights I send her home with strict instructions on taking those magic meds and tonic.  She sent me a message saying she was getting better.  That is just what I had expected.  Modern medicine and a Mother's love combined, it's a winning formula.

My suitcase is still not packed but my house is a little cleaner.  I have less than 24 hours, wish us well!

Please follow our walk from 5th July to 17th July 2015 on Facebook:

Find us on www.face.com/walkforhuntingtons

make a donation:   https://give.everydayhero.com/au/WalkForHuntingtons

Off the Beaten Track



Walking/Cycling Track

I have a good excuse for what happened today, at least it sounds good.  With less than seven weeks before my sisters and I go head off for the UK I thought it best to get a bit more training in while hubby was at his day centre.  My excuse being the news story on a local current affairs program stated too much Vitamin D causes your brain to be fuzzy.  I take Caltrate with Vitamin D added.  There is my answer!


I did my homework for the walking track I drove to today.  I found the starting point without wasting time. It happened to be at the car park in front of the Maylands golf course.  There was plenty of parking and with my back pack, water bladder and fruit to munch on I headed off on the walk/bike track.

Off I marched swinging my arms and enjoying the perfect weather.  Suddenly the track headed east but I wanted to head west.  I had a destination scribbled in my mind.  I detoured off the track, finding a meandering path through the park.  I soon found myself following an old bloke and his playful dog on the river verge.  The verge was covered with thick tough  green grass.  I stopped and chatted to him for just a minute.  He replied positively to my question whether  the path would take me all the way to my destination in East Perth.   I took off at speed, leaving him behind to wander slowly with his companion.

 

The grass soon thinned out leaving me battling through reeds and marshy slushy ground.  The sun was deliciously warm overhead and I suddenly found myself outside the boundary of the golf course.  The golfers ignored me. Hikers and golfers; there is no common ground!

The boundary all but disappeared leaving me in front of a waterway with rocks from my side to the other side.  I attempted to cross but gingerly returned as I slid precariously on the rocks.  Assessing the situation I spied a wall of limestone blocks crossing the waterway.  Like a tightrope walker I stealthily crossed it knowing this was no ordinary walking track!   Where should I be? I have no idea.   Except for turning back I had little choice but to duck between fence and river and continue traipsing through the overgrown river ferns and plants. 



View of Perth from East Perth

Finally I emerged in a park with another waterway.  I wasn't going to jump the six foot creek and sensibly walked around it.

I looked down to find my feet were standing on the very walk track I was trying to find.  Oh, I moaned and with arms once again swinging I walked along the not so interesting walking  track.  At least the river walk had been an adventure!  I finished my walk in East Perth and treated myself to lunch at the Kinky Lizard cafe before returning along the track.

  

As the clouds gathered above I walked past the place I had emerged from the river track to the park. I realised where I had gone wrong. Such a simple mistake which made my forty five minute walk into a ninety minute walk! 

What had I done? 

Native Shag drying her wings

I had simply walked along the track at the front of the golf course in the wrong direction! 

Next time I will take a guided walk!  Life is full of small distractions!

 

Guttered

I can bake cakes, run a household and years ago an office almost singlehandedly. 

Gutters are another story.  I am like many (not all) women.  A gutter is a bit of metal which catches the rain water and stops it from leaking into the house.  When it rusts and the water comes through it's time to call in the tradies. 

To be honest some of my gutters rusted long ago and like both men and women I have been putting it off.  Today I have a fistful of cold cash, some phone numbers and a little time. 

I have rang four gutter companies.  Two of them said my times didn't suit them and that was that.  From the other two I had one written quote.  The other came and measured.  It was almost dark but he used his flashlight on his iPhone to see my rusty gutters and fascia.  They look so much worse by flashlight!

He was here for fifteen minutes.  Ten of those minutes he shared his life story.  I later found out his name but I already knew he lives with a woman who has a six year old boy.  They moved in together five years ago.  He then said with regret he had tried to be a father to the child but it didn't work and now he is just his friend.   I didn't know how to respond.  What does one say?

My mind was going crazy, all I expected was a gutter quote and I got Days of Our Lives in colour previews.  Alarm bells in my head rang loudly.   You should always listen to alarms.

Two weeks later I have yet to receive his quote.  He texted a message saying the last twenty quotes he had emailed had not been received and he would surely give me a good price.  I am still waiting.  I know the job will never begin or at best never be finished.  There would always be something else.

Time is always good for reflection.  Even if he gave me the cheapest quote I have already crossed him off my list.  I hope he sorts out his home life!


That leaves me with the company which emailed me a quote.  It wasn't a bad quote, but it only included the gutters and a small length of rusty fascia to be replaced.  He told me his brother in law is a painter and came to quote on painting the salvageable fascias and eaves.  His quote almost doubled the cost.  I must have looked like an easy target.

I had checked out the gutter companies online and today I checked out some more in the local paper.  I have circled five.  I have time to ring and collect further quotes.  I am not looking for the cheapest quote.  I am looking for someone who knows what they are talking about.  How they will tackle the job.   I already know about fascia covers, gutters with storm slits to prevent overflow, how many downpipes my house really should have.  I am getting quite savvy with gutters!  I had hoped for a good quote, a great job and gutter  satisfaction. 

Spa Talk

His name is Jack.  I met him in the spa at the local indoor pool.  Each time I use the spa at the local public swimming pool I check out the number of people lounging lazily.   I am checking to make sure there is room for me!  Today the spa was full of big bodied men, therefore I waited until most of them had left before I tip toed carefully into the warm swirling water and sat with plenty of room on both sides of me.

I was careful today, more careful than I was yesterday.  Yesterday a number of overweight adults chatted jovially as the bubbles swirled all around them.  I took little notice.   I carefully chose my space where I could see the huge clock on the wall 50 metres away.  I am running to a timetable and nothing was going to make me late!  Until everyone left the spa except Jack who started to chat!

Jack let it be known he is a senior and pays almost half of my monthly fee.  I am only a couple of years short of a senior card.  The thought of cutting my monthly payment in half cheers me slightly. I don't know if Jack is married or whether he has a family.  He tells me he did a stint in Vietnam.  I know he talking army not tourist.  His age is right.  I wonder how he felt when he returned from war without recognition or praise from the Australian government and it's people.  I don't want to ask difficult questions so I turn the conversation in a different direction. 

We discuss our travels, finding we have both visited Africa and Europe.  We share colourful traveller's tales before I realise I have no more time left and I need to leave in a hurry. 

I left thinking I knew nothing about Jack but in hindsight I knew a little.  Jack is one of those people who begin a conversation and in five minutes or less knows your whole life story.  It is easy to feel comfortable with him.  I could have invited him to dinner and called him a long lost friend; he would have kept all the guests entertained!

The world could do with more Jacks, someone to leave you with a smile and a little encouragement to keep you going throughout the day.

Unofficial Gossip

I saw her sitting chatting to another.  I walked up confidently and re-introduced myself.  I hadn't seen Julie for years, maybe five.  It was a long time.  I kept her amused asking about her job, her travels her family and personal memories of the last time we shared time together.  She had no qualms in answering me honestly.  She kept her inquisitive thoughts to herself.
We spoke for only a few minutes.  I reminded her of the last time, which was also the first time we met!
A few weeks later I spoke with Pat, a good friend of mine.  She laughed and said she had met with Julie a few days after I chatted with her.  Julie had been flabbergasted I had remembered so clearly about Julie's life in detail after only meeting her once.
I sat slowly still grinning.  I hadn't realised I recounted Julie's life in detail in only a few short minutes.
I didn't need to tell Pat, for she already knew!  All these years Pat has kept me up to date with Julie's life.  Pat has told me in minute detail all of Julie's travels, her job interviews and the positions she had been successful in.  I knew about her relationships and her friendships.  I felt like a good friend of hers, even though we had met only once.

Maybe Julie thinks I just have a fantastic memory but Pat and I know I've had a relationship with Julie all these years without her even knowing!
Pat rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, did I tell you about my cousin Ron and what he's up to now?"
My eyes sparkled with mischief, "Is there more news?" I queried....

iPhone 5s Debacle

Once again the caller hangs up on me.  I am frustrated.  My iPhone 4 is having a meltdown.  I can hear the person on the other end but they can't hear me.  I have unwillingly become a nuisance caller!

I start texting friends and family and Mel starts ringing me on my home phone.  Merv's community service provider rings me but there is no point in answering I hope they leave a message but they just try again later. 

Dustin has a damaged iPhone 5s.  It works well but he dropped it and the screen is smashed.  It is no longer used as he has a super new iPhone 6.
I weigh up the cost of replacing the screen or buying a new phone.   I am grateful when Dustin hands me the phone.

Then the fun begins. He has all his information and apps still on the phone.  When I bought his iPad from him a couple of years ago it was the same.  I changed his information to mine but iTunes still thinks he owns it.  One day I will wipe it and start again, one day.

Back to the iPhone 5s.  I plug it in with the charger to my home computer and tell iTunes I want to wipe it and restore the factory settings.  It at first appears helpful and I download the data to achieve this.  Half way through the download it times out.  I try it again and again.  This happens four or five times. That was five hours ago.  I try a different tack.  I check Google and find I need to disable my firewall.  I de-friend Norton for the rest of the day!  Three hours later I am the proud owner of a download.

The download then spits out the data and Dustin’s data is erased.  It is only then I realise iTunes is no longer partying with me. It doesn't want to download my data from my iPhone 4 to the iPhone 5s. Back to my friend Google.  It suggests the latest iTunes download.  Ok, another coffee break and a download later and the apple icon appears as by magic on my screen-shattered phone.  After thirteen hours I am finally ecstatic!

Then the fun begins.  It asks me to put in the sim card.  Easy I think and I take out the sim from my no voice iPhone 4.  I then take out the sim tray from the iPhone 5s and I squeal in disbelief. It is tiny, so much smaller than my sim card, which is micro.  Now I know what a nano looks like! 

It's after 8pm and there aren't any service providers open.  I resort to my own devices and hopeful good luck.  My trusty iPad finds a You Tube video on how to cut my sim card to size with the aid of a printed template.  I find the template on my home computer but I know my Brother printer is a perfectionist.  It doesn't like to print unless the colour cartridges are full.  I am empty of cyan and magenta but I am full of black and yellow.  I tease the printer and it balks at me.  It doesn't want to work with me.  Finally I trick it into a greyscale copy and it spits it out. 

The moment of truth comes and I arm myself with pencil, ruler and sharp scissors.  I execute surgery on my sim card and realise I don't have a corner.  Back to the template and the corner is created.  I forget to read the bit about filing the edges and shove it into the sim card tray and then bung it inside the iPhone.  I need a drink but I have nothing to drink but herbal tea and water.  The five year old brandy is for life and death situations only.

Shattered Screen but it works!

I wait in anticipation.  Firstly it says no service, then the circle in the top left hand corner goes faster and faster and presto I have service!  No one is more surprised than me!

I follow the commands of the phone and eventually I have all my apps, photos and phone contacts on the shattered phone.  I even have a recognised thumbprint to access my phone.

I give Merv the home phone and go to the other end of the house to see if after all this the damn thing will work.  My phone rings and I talk to Merv.  Yes he can hear me and vice versa! I am happy.

Tomorrow I am going to the repair shop and have the screen replaced.

I wonder if it would have been easier just to buy a new phone and save the frustration.  It has been a long day of techno stuff but I am delighted I have a working phone!

Australia Day

Australia Day is celebrated on 26 January; it marks the anniversary of the 1788 arrival of the First Fleet of British Ships at Port Jackson, New South Wales.  The British flag was raised by Governor Arthur Phillip.

Today we celebrate Australia Day with a sausage sizzle in our local community followed by community and family events.  It has been fashionable in the last twenty years to hold citizenship ceremonies in most local councils on this day of recognition.  In Perth we finish the day with the most amazing Skyworks, a firework display over the Swan River.  Usually 300,000 people congregate to view the amazing spectacle. It began in 1985 when our children were still at primary school.  We would pack a picnic tea and head for either Kings Park or the Esplanade.  Both have great views of the Swan River where the fireworks explode in colour synchronised to the tunes from a local radio station.

After a few years the City of Perth began closing roads early in the day to make it safe for pedestrians. For a few years we caught the train up, which was the sensible way to get there and back.  The train was bearable getting there but the return journey home we were jam packed like sardines and it became downright annoying. 

One year while the kids were teenagers we parked our old Toyota Station Wagon outside Kings Park as parking inside the park was prohibited.  We walked all the way to the train station and spent most of the day in the historic port of Fremantle before returning to the park late afternoon.  We set up our rug and picnic on a bit of grass which boasted a great view of the river.  We gloated about our getaway not realising we were unable to pull out as the cars whizzed past us and it took us thirty minutes before we lurched out quickly narrowly missing a bump!

There were years when Merv was working.  He worked thirty years in a local bakery and worked nothing but shift work.  I returned home one year stating I had seen the fireworks but further down the river without the amazing view we were used to.  Merv said he had seen them when he got home from work.  He had jumped up on the roof and admired the bright colours in the distant sky!

The kids left home and made their own way to the Sky Show with their own friends.  We continued to park and walk either to Kings Park or the foreshore arriving minutes before the fireworks.  The whole family togetherness and entertainment no longer mattered.

In 2011 after a year of Merv being unwell I did my research, I drove to the Esplanade and parked in the disability area.  It was a short walk to a decent vantage space.  Mel came with us but once again we arrived shortly before the fireworks.  It was rather cool that evening and after the amazing fireworks and laser show of thirty minutes we headed back to the car.  It took us an hour to drive home, most of it bumper to bumper.

We haven't been since.  It just got too difficult with wheelchairs, portable toilets which aren't disability friendly and the trauma of driving in the maddening congestion.

Ever since I  have imagined we book a hotel room which overlooks the river and watch the fireworks from our balcony.  I even imagined we hired a boat (or a small plane) to get up close and be wowed.  I recheck my thinking.  Merv would probably fall out of the boat.  I return to my fantasy of the hotel room.

This year as we did last year we pretended it didn't matter.  We watched the Australian Open discussing which player would win and why.  The next day we watched the Sky Show on TV.  It was amazing, but we weren’t there.  Maybe next year we will go!  Maybe I will book that hotel.

 

Buying THE Dress

I have a permanent smile on my face.  My boy is getting married in less than three weeks!  They have been busy fine tuning their wedding.  This is Dustin's second wedding and Grace's first.  Unfortunately her parents don't live in Australia and no one has offered to help pay for their wedding.  They have both saved $5,000 each and just about everything is done.  I offered to make the wedding cupcakes and paid for their honeymoon flights.  I have now sourced the cupcake materials and spent over three months perfecting swirls with the 1M and 2D piping tips. I was a magician with colour twirls until Merv ate the blue buttercream. He smiled and his mouth resembled Papa Smurf! We settled for no colour in the buttercream.

I have yet to buy myself a new dress for the wedding.  I am hoping for something, 'summery,.' not black.  Off I go. January is clearance month in Australia as fashion shops prepare for their winter range. I thought it should be easy. My thoughts: walk into an amazing store, choose an expensive dress at 50% off and out I go.   

I have since spent four hours trudging the stores without success.   Myer is our Harrods and I hit the fashion floor.  There are great dresses there at half price.  I beam.  They have roomy change rooms and a mirror in front of me, one behind me and one to the side.  It is a horror show.  I remove my battered three quarter jeans and my tired top and all I see in front of me is my flabby legs, my bulging stomach and flabby arms.  Surely this isn't me?  I peer into the mirror.  Yes unfortunately it is.  My mirror at home is much more discerning. 

I am glad I have brought various sizes of the same dress into the change room.  The designer dresses are delightful but they have been cut to fit tall girls (yes girls) with tiny waists.  I am neither girl or small waisted.  I am disappointed and stalk out of the change room returning them to any rack I see before I disappear into the crowd.

I next tried Noni B who advise me they have 10% off ! How disappointing!  The only dress I like is $250.  I don't bother to try it on. The shopping centre is full of boutiques for young slim girls; I don't bother no need to be humiliated!

I head off to Millars; a store known for its cheap fashions for oldies.  There's not much there except for a lacy powder blue dress.  Yes it has shoulders and my size is hanging on the rack.  It is quiet in the store and I head to the change rooms with a variety of other possible outfits.

I try on the larger size and realize the smaller size is never going to fit.  I preen myself in front of the mirror.  There are only two mirrors in this change room but my bulges are just as appalling.  I wonder if I can get away with the colour and remind myself, all eyes will be on the bride, the way it should be.   I fumble in my handbag and find my iPhone.  I will take a photo or two and post to my sisters.  They are honest and will tell me I look hideous in the dress.  The store is quiet and I can't hear anyone else around.  I peek out of the door and see a little old lady shuffling slowly wheeling her frame.  I contemplate asking her to take my photo but sigh and know there is no point in asking.  I fiddle with my mobile and take a few selfies.  I sigh; I dress and return the powder blue dress to the rack.  

I need a fashion dress action plan. I have made a list of possible stores to visit next Thursday, back I will go on the assault trail!  Wish me luck!

Selfie in the change room!

                                       

Neighbours

I wince.  BANG, BANG, THUMP, THUMP!  It goes on and on, day after day after day.  I wince again.  My once rather quiet neighbours are having a granny flat installed.  To save a few dollars the man of the household is compacting the soil after moving his soak wells.  I think to myself a machine could surely compact the small area of ground in a matter of hours?  I am not sure if I am wrong. 

His wife said his shoulder is hurting from the thumping.  I told her I was not happy with the thumping he was planning for Christmas day.  They were holding their family get together the following day but they listened to my request and Christmas day was 'thump-free.'

Alas over a week later and the thumping continues.  It is hot and the pleasant breeze in the afternoon helps cool the house.  There is no escaping the thumping throughout the house.

On New Year's Eve I had planned on a quiet drink of wine and some nibbles under the back patio with the tinkling sound of our pleasant fountain to entertain us.  Instead I grabbed our old Ghetto Blaster and CD of the late Joe Cocker.  Until then I had no idea how loud that 90’s blaster could get; but I know now!

I expected lines of people knocking on our front door complaining about the noise, but no one bothered.  They were probably relieved not to hear the thumping!  We enjoyed our traditional celebration drink with a little help from Joe.  It was definitely a little different from our regular tradition.

I began to think about Dustin's kindy teacher who once told me she could never live in the suburbs.  She shared this a long time ago but she lived on a large property with horses and no near neighbours.  It was bliss to her. From her point of view I am one of the strange ones.  I like living in a little square box on a small patch of land surrounded by people I am neither related to nor overly friendly with.  It provides me with a sense of comfort knowing others are close by.  I would rather be in a crowd than a large open space by myself.

Today I am hoping the neighbour's granny flat will soon be delivered (yes more noise but not forever) and the thumping will become a distant memory.  This time next year I may even be able to chuckle about it.