My Holiday House

Another Christmas already gone.  Someone somewhere is counting the days to the next one.  It's certainly not me!  I just want to sleep and hide all the chocolates and drink all the wine.  The Christmas cake already devoured and enjoyed.
The weather is delightful.  So hot in Perth but it's so much cooler here by the coast. I'm loving it.  I have my 'Crimsafe' security on all my windows and doors and at every opportunity I slide open the windows with great vigour!  The sea breeze is refreshing and fills every nook and cranny of my home.
It is warmer outside today than usual and I balk at turning on the reverse cycle air conditioner.  Dollar signs and overpriced electricity bills besiege my mind.  I leave the windows open and the air conditioner off.  I turn on the fans instead.
Why is it that the sweat that trickles down my neck and finds the small of my back so comforting? What is the memory here?  I rack my brain to no avail but eventually it surfaces and I laugh.
My house which I own with Merv is not like any holiday home we have stayed in, the clue is the setting.  We are only two kilometres from the beach.  The beach I walked to this morning to enjoy my morning cuppa and a slice of fruit cake I found hiding in my fridge.  It is the proximity to the beach which is the clue and the joy of fresh breezes.
I conjure up memories of beach shacks, units, old houses and even caravans we have hired for past holidays at various beach locations.  Busselton, Albany, Mandurah and others. I don't think any of them had an air conditioner and most didn't have a fan.  They were holidays with the sea breeze dancing through our windows.  Days of sitting outside for meals or on the beach.  The trickle of sweat on our necks considered a necessity never a nuisance.
So here I am in my permanent 'holiday' home enjoying the trickle of sweat as the breeze dances through my windows and doors.  Precious memories of holidays visited.
With the pressures of everyday life as this year comes to a close, I choose to enjoy these memories.

Distance Apart

I heard that Addie wasn't well.  I was alarmed and chose to ring her at home but I woke her from her healing sleep.  I apologised.  Maybe it won't be enough.  Maybe it's time to let go.
I used to work with Addie.  Addie was the Admin Officer. One of my fellow colleagues when she began working with us was terrified of her.  All she could see was a scary person at the reception desk ensuring all was running to clockwork and sorting staff and clients out as necessary.  I remember I would work efficiently and quietly so not to be noticed.
Addie had already retired from a previous job due to her reaching retirement age but after a short time she was aching to get back to work so she did just that.
I don't remember how long it took but every now and then we would chat, Addie and I.  Always in control and when she was finished I would slink back to my desk and remember (most of the time!) to answer the phone if she was busy or away from her desk.  I have a bleak history of pressing the wrong connection buttons and cutting clients (and colleagues) off.  I could only get better!
I never quite made it to her elite group and I new I never would.
After four years I left work to care for Merv full time.  I had been employed as a full timer but asked for three days per week once Merv became ill in 2010.  I had made good friends with some of the staff but I still felt on the outer.
After leaving work Addie was the only person I kept in contact with.  We emailed and sent the occasional message including numerous photos.  In hindsight I think I sent all the photos!
I mentioned I needed a little adult conversation and just like that we began meeting at the local coffee shop once a fortnight after she finished work.  Jackie came along as well.  It was really very nice to share a meal and chat for hours.  Merv spent the time with a Support Worker and had his tea with her.
Addie knew I was going to sell my house but no one would have expected it to sell in two hours and eight weeks later I had moved an hours drive away.
Addie said she would come to my big birthday bash but she didn't.  I hadn't expected her to.
I keep her in my prayers and I think of her.  I want her to get better and go back to work.  Maybe she'll ring once she is well enough to and maybe she won't.  Maybe distance is severing the ties.  It can and often  does,
I will always rejoice in her friendship and thoughtfulness.  She opened a closed door for me.  I will be  forever grateful. Bless her.

Poison or Amputate?

A question not to be taken lightly.  Should I use a bottle of poison or should I use my quick acting power saw for a messy amputation? It wasn't something I spent time thinking about, the answer was clear from the start.
Poison.
My memory clouded with images of me digging, sawing, prizing and eventually that damn tree stump lost its battle!  It was just a few weeks ago and those images pop up mercilessly.  It took over four hours over two days to finally wrench it from its hold.  I power sawed the endless roots which jutted from its colossal stump (well not really so big).  There is always one hidden anchor root.  I twisted the stump, I turned it, I swore at it and finally I put it in a headlock and severed it lose.
Triumph at last.
Then I remembered its opposing cousin hiding in my vegetable garden.  The sawn stump remains hidden under the compost and soil but on further evaluation it's sprouting new growth.  I began the haphazard task of digging around the stump only to give in and swear to a humane poisoning!  So it will be.  Another trip to the hardware stop for Blackberry poison.
It's been a busy month in the back garden.  Firstly digging up all the grass and reticulation followed by my friendly landscaper completing his work at hand.   From six quotes I felt he was the only one who understood my plan for a walk path for Merv to use in his wheelchair.
Merv loves his new place to spend time either enjoying afternoon tea or having a stroll along his own 'catwalk.'
Dustin and Grace visited last weekend digging and planting the array of native and flowering shrubs and plants I had chosen from a local nursery.  I hummed and ha-ha-ed where they should go and the final colour combinations.  Yes I read about that in a well intended garden book.  I had nightmares for a week.
Yesterday I bought a 30m retractable hose to water the garden in case the reticulation proved difficult and I need to put it off for a year or two.  Now I need someone to mount the hose reel to the wall.  The list is endless.
My garden plan is like a jig saw slowly coming together.  Next week we will have a Ocean Blue Shade Sail floating above our outdoor dining area and hopefully we can acquire an outdoor dining setting as well!  My much 'loved' pink and purple pergola will be repainted Classic Cream
Then there is the mulch, the stepping stones (many of which are needed) and God knows what else.  A garden is never completed, it is just a work in progress.
I like the idea of it never being completed, just a labour of love.  I can run with that.  While some gardens maybe a masterpiece mine might just be a 'paint by numbers' version but I will love it just the same because its mine.

Sleepless Nights

After digging in the garden most of the today I decided we would watch a 'nice movie' on Netflix.  Merv delights in his action packed movies but they're not for me.
"Oh, this looks good."  I remarked as I clicked on, 'Our Souls at Night'.  Starring the fabulous Jane Fonda who looks good at any age and Robert Redford who continues to have the cute boy look even his rather weathered features!
I was taken aback when Addie (Jane) knocks on Louis' (Robert) door and makes him an unusual  proposal.  She merely says she is lonely and presumes he is also.  Both their partners have died.  She proposes they sleep together for company not sex.  She says it is difficult to sleep by herself.
The story progresses with them giving it a try and continues with a healthy relationship growing between them.
I suddenly remembered a good friend of mine stating many times she is often awake most of the night.  She lives alone.  My thoughts then centred on the times I am alone in my own house.  I have security and my phone lies next to my bed but I find it difficult to sleep in an empty house.  Logic doesn't come into it.  If an intruder entered our house at night what could Merv do to protect himself or me?  Absolutely nothing.  What would Mel do? Maybe send me a text message?  She often texts me in the morning to see if I'm awake.  I sleep alone in my room I just know the presence of my loved ones in the same settles me into sleep.
So if my housemates are no good with a baseball bat, why does their presence give me a sense of security?  I gave this much thought.  Is it the presence of trusted loved ones?  Is it a spiritual sense?  I don't know.
Then a rather weird thought.  Maybe all the sleepless singles could pair up and have sleep overs ensuring a good night's sleep?  It's worth a thought!

Yo - Yo Weight

The news, current affairs programs, reality TV shows and those most annoying marketing shows continuously have stories on weight loss.  It's an epidemic of overload do's and don'ts.
It's got to a point you might as well just ignore whatever they say because tomorrow there will be another supposed easy solution for weight loss.
In 2012 it took me over 12 months to lose 18 kilos.  I was ecstatic when I finally found my hip bones!   I soon put back on 5 kilos but I was comfortable with my weight.  Since selling the house in January and moving I've put on an extra 5 kilos which is no friend of mine, it has to go!  With the arrival of Spring it is easier to eat salads and less filling foods, I feel I'm finally making headways but I know it won't be an easy journey. I travelled that road before...
Mel has been on her Weight Watchers journey since May and her journey is that of any inspiring yo-yoer.  "I have lost weight,"  she cries,  I remind her she is losing only what she put on last week.
Yesterday I decided I better check her food diary only to find her pro-points aren't matching the foods she is listing.  She ate a whole pack of Allens Party Lollies and a chocolate caramello bear.  She had recorded the points for the lollies as 3 points which is one serve but there are nine serves in the pack.  I searched the Allen's website for the information.  Ooops from 3 points to 27 points. I'm hoping that's a wake up call for her.  I have vowed to go through each day with her and we will  add the points together.  Her daily limit is 35 points, yesterday she ate over 89 points and wondered why her weight increased.
Eating out is difficult when watching the calories.  You either decide to say, "what the hell," and eat whatever you want or calculate the calories, fat and sugar contents.  I despair at the so called healthy cafes which list the calories (kilojoules) of their menu items.  They sound like scrumptious meals but most of them have 500-700 calories for a lunch dish.  Mel and I often chose to share a meal, thus halving the calories.  Last week we had calamari and salad, it was a big serve and filled us both.
We've begun measuring her again, every couple of weeks and it's now beginning to show a difference.  Mel is smiling once again,

Sharing 2 huge meals, we should have just bought one!

A Different Group of Friends

Mel spends hours texting her friends in Midland.  They send back messages.  She wants to know what they are doing.  I'm sure she feels she is missed.  In Midland she would walk through the shopping centre and greet not just one or two people she knew but a crowd of people!  I'm sure she misses that.
It's been six months this Sunday since we left the suburbs and moved south.  I have no regrets.
Mel has left a community group she joined here a few months ago.  They didn't connect together as she had hoped.  I believe in the saying, 'When one door closes another opens.'  We put our heads together and worked out a list of places and things she could do instead.  She now joins an art group every second week and the the alternative week joins a lunch group.  This has opened up a greater group  for her to meet and build relationships.  These groups have created a contact for her to join a Saturday morning group and another lunch group on the alternative Wednesday.  I must say I'm pleased.
My sister recently arranged to meet people she hadn't seen for awhile.  She said it was good to spend time with a different group of people.  We so often socialise within our own family and close friends boundaries and don't take that extra step.  It can make us feel so vulnerable.  What if they don't like me?  What if they find me boring?  Can they understand my reasoning or humour? What if I find them boring?  The list goes on,
Since we moved I also text my friends from before but not so often.  I have put myself  'in the firing line' by attending the community dinners, lunches with a group at local restaurants, even the 'busy bee' group raking leaves and other mundane chores at the resort.  The resort is open to all homeowners in our small housing estate.  It is community.  I'm glad to be part of it.

My New Mac

'You have to learn a whole new system,' said the woman sitting next to me at the Carer's Lunch.  She is right, of course.   It's almost like learning a new language,  Mac Chat, Mac talk, whatever it is.  The woman in the Apple Store encouraged me to think of group learning at her store,  My head did the figures,  45 minute drive to the store, then the lesson and 45 minutes back.  Brain punched out the figures and said it did not compute.  Hmmmm I responded, only one solution - use You Tube to learn the bits and pieces and the fine tuning,  Without leaving my seat I have already learnt how to remove the black dot below the task bar icons, how to do all sorts of things in Documents, including transferring my documents from my old Microsoft files,  Yes I have installed Microsoft Office for Mac.  I look upon it as a learning curve.  It took only a couple days before I connected by blogs in my new Mac Pro.
I wish I had all day to do all things Mac but I have so many more things to do.  Why do I do so much in just one week while Merv is in respite?  I suppose it is the freedom to do things I wouldn't normally do with Merv due to limited wheelchair access in many areas.
Yesterday Mel and I walked through the swampy areas near the bird park and today we took a road journey to Waroona, a small country town. I  photographed Mel next to the town icon, a life size cow dressed in a nightgown and night cap.  Just to amuse both locals and visitors,
We bought things from the second hand shop and the information shop, nothing from the bakery  before enjoying a healthy lunch at the old hotel, I was saddened to see so many empty and dilapidated shops along the main street.  After talking with shop owners there still  is a sense of pride and community among the residents,
Best of all was the colour of wildflowers, especially the vibrant yellow of the wattles littering the road verges.